Today marks a year since the government announced its first national Lockdown. In some ways it feels like the longest year ever experienced by anyone ever, in other ways it really does not feel like it’s been that long at all. It is funny thinking back to that time when no one will have predicted that we would still be here a year later.
While living through this very peculiar time in human history, I have learnt a few things and I would like to share them with you now so sit down, put your phones away, get your notebooks out and pens at the ready. Class is in session.
Lesson 1 – I sort of like running.
For years I thought people who voluntarily chose to run were either sadists or had nothing better to do. I used to do a fitness trail with friends from work, partly as token effort towards not having strangers rub my belly for good luck, but mostly for the social aspects that came with it. Throughout lockdown I continued to run, even getting to a stage where I would look at previously very distant objects and have an unfamiliar confidence in knowing that distance at that pace was very manageable. There are still other forms of fitness I would prefer, given the choice, but I am slightly more on board with the concept now.
Lesson 2 – I need company, in physical form.
I have always known that I need a certain level of social interactions (and regular hugs and cuddles) to function and thrive as a human. I thought that video calls, phone calls and the PlayStation Network conversations playing games online could support this need, but I was incorrect. The housemates I live with were recluses before the pandemic and became even more so after. They also offered very little in terms of stimulating conversation and got to the point where I would actively avoid them as I could not be bothered to have the same conversation where they would put little to no effort in making the conversation worth having. I first resorted to drawing the faces of Chris Hadfield, Idris Elba, Emma Stone and Eva Green and paperclipped them to pillows to give the impression of company. They were replaced down the line with Bruno, my 4-foot-tall soft toy dog.
Lesson 3 – Humans are creatures of habit.
This will be for one of two different reasons. Either convenience or laziness. Working in front of the window in my room, it did not take long to start seeing regular dogs and their walkers at the same time each day. Other park visitors started to become familiar sights from my window, including ones that chose to use the corner across from my front door as an emergency toilet. From my 2nd floor room, the vegetation they thought was offering cover did little to hide any modesty that remained. I had one lady who became a regular well into autumn when all the shrubs and long grass had gone. Anyone walking past at street level and even from in the park could have seen what she was up to.
While out of work and able to do anything at any time of day they wanted, the housemates fell victim to religious devotion to the clock. I knew within a few minutes of error when each of them will be using the kitchen. This made avoiding them and pointless conversations easier.
Lesson 4 – Stimulation has become harder to define.
I went into lockdown with what I thought was enough to keep me entertained for an indefinite period of time. As time when on this list of potential options and activities increased with the acquisition of a stand-up paddleboard (as did everyone else), piggybacking off more peoples streaming services, more games, more books and a few fitness toys. Since the new year, I started to become aware that I was getting very little joy from these options and hadn’t done for a while. I was not motivated to participate in any of them and found finding patterns in the wallpaper just as fulfilling. I was bored. Something I felt very guilty about as there will be many people in situations far less fortunate, with fewer options open to them.
Because I was bored and Groundhog Day had well and truly set in with work and post work activities, the weird dreams hit hard, fast and sporadically across the year. Well documented with prisoners due to a lack of stimulation, more and more articles are coming out from those outside the clink having bonkers dreams. This is also a sign of stress and anxiety which leads me nicely on to…
Lesson 5 – Talking about mental health.
As soon as lockdown was announced, this prevented many sectors, services and people unable to work which had the potential and reality to add financial pressures on those already struggling with one thing or another. As part of Dorset’s Volunteer Search and Rescue, we were expecting to be called out every other day for those who founds this as the last straw. Or for those that thought going for a long walk off a steep cliff was preferable to being stuck in lockdown with their other half. I found surprising that it took 6 weeks before our first callout. Recent NHS and police statistics show that there has been a steady rise in mental health cases since the start of lockdown. A friend of mine who works in a Samaritans call centre has confirmed they are getting more calls than usual.
Around mid-February I noticed familiar red flags, indicating I was struggling but powered on for a few more weeks. Toxic masculinity would normally not allow me to admit that I, the sole male representative in my team, couldn’t make it through a work call with the boss and I broke right there and then on camera because things had become too much. I took a week off work, labelling it as a hard reset of my mental systems. Pretty embarrassing for one of the workplace’s designated Mental Health First Aiders.
I am lucky I have a reasonably long list of people who have offered themselves to be a sounding board for my issues and there are others I am quietly confident would listen to me as well if I called out the blue, but it was the time off that really did the trick. Please reach out to someone if you feel like you are struggling, even if you think it is nothing or too early for it to be anything serious.
Lesson 6 – Small goals are still goals.
I intended on using all the time saved by not commuting to and from work every day to exercise and look like Thor, edit loads of videos and learn Spanish. My kettlebells have been lifted more for propping the door open than for actual exercise, I water damaged a laptop lent to me by work for editing quite early on and haven’t downloaded a single language learning app. And this is ok. While it would have been nice to achieve at least one of these things its not the end of the world that I haven’t. Its not like they can’t be done another time. Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to “achieve” things if you don’t need to but if you are a SMART goal purist then by all means knock your socks off. It was all too easy to just stay inside a lot of the time and complete Netflix, so I set goals of just getting outside, clean the windows, read my book or put the laundry that had been hanging in my room for the last week away. If I did any more then that it was a bonus. Start small and build that momentum and you will start crossing off tasks like there is no tomorrow.
Lesson 7 – Podcasts are great.
I will be honest, while they have been around for a while, even though I listened to two, I didn’t see the point in podcasts. Just listen to music or watch the telly. Now, it could not be more of a poacher turned gamekeeper story. I now use listening to podcasts as my vehicle to get out the house for my small goal walks and often find myself giggling in public.
Prior to lockdown, two friends from work and I talked about setting up our own podcast and two of us actually visited Podcast Labs, a podcast recording studio, to see what the set-up was and enquire about prices to get this idea off the ground. I can now see why a lot of them do it from home now. While the lady at Podcast Labs said that it was still open season with podcasts and the market was not yet saturated with everyman and his dog hosting a podcast, it certainly seems that way. I use an app called Castbox and it is like Netflix for podcasts. There is too much choice and its hard to know where to begin. Bruce Springsteen and Barak Obama do a podcast together. Could start there?
Lesson 8 – Social Media needs limits.
There is no denying that social media does have a lot of benefits and lockdown has shown just how creative we can all be given a lot of free time in the face of adversity. But there needs to be limits. I found it all too easy to get sucked in and start scrolling for no reason in particular purely out of boredom for prolonged periods of time. I have caught myself subconsciously and automatically open the usual suspects for a mindless scroll midway through a film I was enjoying. It had not buzzed and therefore absolutely no need for it. It was simply a case that I had developed an inability to pass time without a cheap dopamine hit at regular intervals. Recognition is the first step to recovery.
When I have my week off work, I didn’t touch any form of scrolling based social media. I didn’t feel better for it in all honesty but didn’t feel worse and more importantly I didn’t miss it. I have not cut it from my life and will continue to use it but like with most things in life, moderation is key and I have become aware of a previous reliance on it to pass time. Time that could be better spent moving a kettlebell so I can close the door or listen to a podcast outside.
It could be famous last words but with the roadmap out of lockdown in place, there is light at the end of the tunnel and we are on the final straight to having some form of the old way of life reintroduced. There will be some very welcome returns (pub gardens and hugs immediately spring to mind), but there are some lockdown habits I will be bringing with me into this new world, cold water swimming, meditation and facemask. There will be many who will be glad to see that back of facemasks but several countries in Asia were using them well before the pandemic by those feeling under the weather to reduce any potential spread of anything. Makes sense.
With that in mind you are invited to participate in some optional homework to have a think about what you have learnt over this last year. About yourself. About others. About what you have missed. What you have gained. About what will you take with you from this experience and what you will drop moving forward. Should you wish to share it, I would like to hear about it. But now if you don’t mind, it’s that time for my stretching and foam rolling session.
